my thoughts: on comfort zones

Comfort is such a sweet and wonderful word! I enjoy comfort, especially when it is accompanied by peace. I enjoy air conditioning because it is a sort of comfort. I enjoy a great many things simply because of their #comfort# factor.

As enticing and enjoyable as comfort is, by its very nature, it means things are pretty much the same as they have been. That's how things become comfortable… we are used to them.

When we keep doing what we've always done, we'll pretty much keep getting what we've always got. For the most part, this is comfortable.

Comfortable doesn't always equal good, even though it usually does mean easy. Easy isn't always (probably not even usually) good.

I have experienced a great deal of discomfort recently. Most of this, generally described and felt as a negative, has come as a result of making efforts to activate and run my Lilla Rose business. One particular event, though, was something I did because I'd been feeling like I should and since it seems I'm in a season of going outside my comfort zone, might as well add one more thing to the list of ways I'm stretching!

It's not easy. Nor is it enjoyable in the moment! Yet, as I consider what I've accomplished, I feel really good about it! Most of it would not have been possible if I'd simply continued doing what was easy for me.

So, here's to biting the bullet and stepping outside of my comfort zone some more!

Have you done anything that has required you to leave your comfort zone, lately? I'd love to hear about it!

my thoughts: on becoming a master

Have you mastered a skill? Are you comfy calling yourself a master of anything?

As for me, I've long considered myself a “Jane of all trades, master of 1”… until recently. I don't think I said it pridefully at all. I just really did think I was quite good at crochet. Even a master crocheter.

Then the challenge. A friend asked me to make a particular hat for her granddaughter. I was excited about being able to do something for this sweet friend and set to the task. First, looking for a pattern. To not much avail. I found one, but it was in Russian and the English translation was missing key phrases and words here and there. Ugh!

Still, I felt sure I could figure the hat out simply by studying the photos of it. Ha!

Okay, so, I think I mostly did figure it out. But this challenge kicked my boodalicious bum up and down the street before I did! And it took me months! Yes, not all of that time was spent on crochet. But when I was crocheting, I was working on that bootybumkickingHat!

As a result of all this, I no longer consider myself a master crocheter. Oh, sorrowful day kalookalay! I return myself, head downcast and shoulders hunched forth, to the named rank of “Jane of all trades, master of none”.

Yet, I have hope that I may some day regain confidence in my skill… perhaps a new challenge that will not kick my boodalicious bum quite so long!

Have you ever felt yourself lose confidence in a skill you once felt masterful in? I'd love to hear about it… we can commiserate together!

my thoughts: on winning

What is it about winning that is so very… enticing? I mean, war is, at least in part, seeking to win… to the extreme. Winning an argument. Winning a prize. Winning is exciting, right?

Are we pre-wired to seek to win? I think we are, honestly. The thing that is misunderstood in this plane… because we are in a fallen state… is that one person doesn't need to lose for another to win.

Stephen Covey is the main one I know in our modern day who coined the term #win win#. Even though we are in this fallen world, we are not required to be of the world in the way it thinks and does things. It is easy to fall into thinking that there can only be one winner (like the Highlander)… but God's way is so much better and, by far, preferable.

There are some instances when one winner is really necessary. Like in a race. Or in a game. And similar. Yet even in those instances, we are able to choose to celebrate together rather than the winner lauding it over the other(s).

I think it takes greater strength, courage, and character to help others feel like winner even though they may not have officially won the game, or prize, or race, or whatever.

What do you think?

my thoughts: on owning a business and writing

Writing can be a full-time job. Running one's own business can be a full-time job. Combine the two and you have… chaos! Or, at least, the potential for it. What it means is you have to get more organized and prioritize activities daily and sometimes throughout the day.

Those who are already published, may find that is all they need to earn what they want to earn. Most writers, even those who are published, make around $10,000 per year. If it is a supplemental income, read: spouse has a job that pays most of the bills, that may well be enough.

As for me, writing has not moved into the “paying” phase yet. Therefore, and because I have goals that outstrip my husband's income, I work at home as an Independent Lilla Rose Stylist for myself and help my children with their business. I have a great deal to manage without writing and business running, so I'm becoming significantly better at organizing and prioritizing.

Planning and scheduling (especially social media and blog posts) have become exceedingly important to me. For some things, posts are scheduled out as much as a year in advance. Doing so relieves me of a great deal of “daily” work, which results in a much calmer homeschool mama.

Basically, though, it really just gets more challenging. Add more to one's plate and the plate gets heavier… sometimes that's good, but not always. I suppose that is as it should be… as one matures, life gets heavier and at least a little more difficult. However, if either the writing or the business running are necessary for any given reason or set of reasons or important enough to the person doing them, then the owner/writer will make it work!

Do you write and run your own business? I'd like to know what you do! What's your genre? What's your business?

my thoughts: on work

I believe we are here in this life for many reasons. This life is one of purpose. To think or believe otherwise is downright depressing. A grampa of mine thought there was nothing beyond this life… and probably nothing before it. He died a while back. I wonder if he's found out otherwise? It is entirely possible that he doesn't realize he's dead, if he's wrong. I figure if I'm wrong, I'm none the worse off. However, it seems to me, if he's wrong, he is a bit worse for the lack of faith.

Again… my love of tangents has again surfaced.

Could it be, that one purpose of our life here on earth is to cultivate love of various perhaps unnatural loves? I think it is! Since God is Love, I believe He wants us to love all that is good – even though we might, in our carnal nature not love it easily.

One love I believe we are meant to cultivate and nurture, is the love of work. Now, I'm not talking about obsessive workaholic type work. I'm really talking more about choosing to love that which sustains us and enables us to live independently, productively, and helpful to others.

To work only for the sake of earning money is a sorry state of affairs, in my opinion. Doing so is, in truth, a manifestation of loving money. While money is not the root of all evil, the LOVE of money is! So, working to make more money when it isn't beneficial (or has become the focus above independent living, productivity, and service to others) ends up being a form of sin.

On the other side, we find ourselves lazy, dependent on others for all that sustains life, unmotivated, and also in our carnal nature: sinful.

The happy medium in this situation is to love work and do it with a cheerful heart. However, the work we should cultivate love for is not just the work one does to make money. Dishes. Sweeping. Laundry. Washing the floor. Repair work of any and every kind. And so much more!

Do you think we are meant to cultivate and nurture a love of work?

my thoughts: on the Mandelbrot Set

Pretty recently, I made a comment about a possibility pertaining to the universe in a group for members of my church. The only person to respond to me directly was exceedingly unkind and taunted my comments. Basically, he acted like a bully and made fun of my thoughts. The most surprising thing about him, to me, is that he did this unabashedly AND he's old enough to be my Dad. Seriously.

I responded that he was acting in a manner that was beneath him. He responded that his reaction was completely appropriate because of the ridiculousness of what he understood in my comments.

The thing is, I didn't deserve to be taunted, laughed at, and made fun of. That was all about him and how intolerant and unkind he is. In the moment of reading his unkindnesses, though, I didn't feel the truth of what I know! How true it is, this thing I've taught my children: the devil loves to manipulate our feelings and drag us down to misery by them!

So, anyway… as a result of that most disagreeable interaction with a stranger who should've known better, I feel the desire to share about the Mandelbrot Set here.

This most amazing mathematical set is not just a fractal. It is one of many ways of understanding the world around us.

This set is believed to represent the skin where order and chaos meet. If we consider this for a moment in human terms, what would that “skin” be? The mind, heart, and spirit of human beings, of course. Our minds, hearts, and spirits are the place where chaos (the devil) and order (God) meet. We are where they win or lose.

In a regular fractal, we see the fruition of sacred geometry, as it is considered. And it is beautiful, as is the Mandelbrot Set. However, in the MS one can move into it (zoom in, as it were) and the picture changes. While this is also true of other fractals, I'm not sure the end of the zooming is also. You see, in the Mandelbrot Set, when you zoom in far enough, so long as nothing has changed in the original, you'll eventually return to the exact same image as where you began.

Which lends a relatively good segue to the next point: The Mandelbrot Set is a picture of a pretty organic looking amoeba or paisley-type thing. On the outer edge of it are various size repetitions of the same shape. On the same outside line of each paisley on the outside of the main paisley are more of them… and on to infinity, it is supposed. If one changes one small (even the smallest thing we could change) on any of those paisley shapes, the whole picture changes.

This mathematical picture is awesome to me because it is a representation of us! First, as I already shared, I believe it shows our mind/heart/spirit as the place where chaos and order meet. Second, we see that no matter our path and life's experiences, we will continue to come round to the same exactly thing… unless the third thing happens… a change. If we change one small thing in ourselves, our perception of the whole world changes. If we change (as one small part of the world), the whole world also changes in actuality.

Ghandi taught it by saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Jesus Christ taught it in many ways, with particular focus on forgiving others.

Awesome, right?

Can you see what I see? If you want to know that I'm not the only one who sees it this way, please watch.

my thoughts: on politics

A friend told me she looked at my blog to see if I'd posted anything about the political situation just prior to the election in 2016. She was also sorta checking to make sure I was okay since we hadn't chatted in a little while. So sweet, right?

Perhaps I neglected my civic duty when I chose not to share any thoughts about the election. I think not, but I certainly could have. Nonetheless, I digress. (I'm good at it, eh?)

That season has passed and I am glad. I did not vote for our president. I did not vote for Hilary. Make your guess as you may.

What, then, is the purpose for which I write now? To share my thoughts on politics, of course!

We live in an age of broken systems. I could fly on a tangent about any number of them. I will focus, for now, on politics.

Our country was never meant to be split in two. We were not meant to have mere two parties from which to choose. The powers that be, and not of the light, have orchestrated things such that this is what we seem to have. This is what we have if we focus only on what is easiest to know, learn, and see. There are still other options, but because we don't have enough “regular folk” who learn about those options, we are defacto stuck choosing from the primary two options.

Politicians were never meant to run this country. One reason I have had a relatively easy time accepting Trump is that he is not a politician and has proceeded to attempt to keep his campaign promises. Add to that, his acceptance of only $1 salary for the job… I might think he's attempting to be a statesman… yes. Yes, I might think so.

Statesmen/women are meant to lead this country. I hope (used to believe, but not sure I do now) that there are some statespersons in the system or trying to get there. But those who have been working in their current office for longer than, say, eight years… yeah… almost for sure they are not statespersons.

My definition of a statesperson is one who is ready and willing to put aside their own preferences to ensure God is the true leader of the nation and execute the will of the people (so long as it is in line with the former). This might seem like it doesn't jive with politics as they are. If you think so, you're right. Our political system doesn't involve God in things. That is, surely, a huge part of why things are falling apart as much as they are.

Our forefathers included God. They started their discussions with prayer. If I remember correctly, they concluded them with prayer as well. I believe God's involvement is the only reason so many men of such varying dispositions and beliefs could come up with and agree on The Constitution.

Of course, I could be wrong….

Anyway, the system that comprises our poolitical parties and so forth is absolutely broken. The first thing that should be done is salary cuts for members in both houses. Then, term limits for all (not just the President). The final of the first changes I wish I could make is two parts. The first would be to reduce the laws on the books and verbiage of them and ensure that future legislation would have to be equally direct and simply worded.

I would love to see lots more folks who care about their cities, states, and this country run for office. The learning curve would be steep, but I think our country would move in a better direction.

my thoughts: it's not easy being green

Being green isn't really what it is. And though the title says it's not easy being green… perhaps it is all too easy to be green. You know, green with envy. No, this post isn't about the evils of envy. It's about stuff more general than that, actually.

I've been pondering much on ease and difficulty of late. Thinking about what is easy and what is not.

Rarely in my life has the easy way been the most productive and best. So, as I think about my past, it seems ease is more a low road… low being both easier to access and less helpful in the long-run. Oh, what a gift when it is both easy and productive and truly beneficial, but it usually is not.

And what makes the good, productive, and best so very difficult? I don't entirely know, of course.

Perhaps resistance to change is part of it… You know, physics' “laws” that have to do with objects in motion wanting to stay in motion and objects at rest needing something to act upon them move… that sort of thing. Sure, that's certainly part of it.

Could there be more? Is there something else that makes improvement and progress so difficult?

Well, because the spiritual is as much a part of life as what is physically apparent (they are really interrelated and completely connected). Could it be that there are forces beyond our perception that would hamper and stop our movement toward what is better? Could is be that there are actually angels of darkness who stand in our way and strive to lead us into paths forbidden?

What do you think? Do you have any experience with this sort of thing? I'd be happy to hear anything you may want to share.

my thoughts: on bullying

For the most part, I really and truly think that many really blow this issue out of proportion. Truly. However, I recently heard from a Mama whose son had truly experienced bullying of a horrendous nature. He was beat up on the bus. His head was beat against the bus window repeatedly, his body was stomped upon repeatedly, and then the bus diver let him off the bus well before his own stop and he walked home. His mother (and I with her) was glad the made it home, but he immediately collapsed and she couldn't get him to wake up. They rushed to the emergency room and he was okay by a couple days later.

But seriously? I mean, another kid did this to another kid! Perhaps this struck me so very painfully because I know someone who was attacked by a group of other men and beaten to a pulp. He ended up in intensive care for many days. He was unrecognizable. After that experience, he became unrecognizable as a person as well. Since that time, he has walked through the valley of the shadow of death. It has been exceedingly painful to witness.

Still, he was an adult. At least he had a relatively happy childhood by all accounts.

After learning about this little boy's experience, I almost immediately monologued to my children. In my verbal explosion of feelings brought on by learning about this little boy's experience of bullying, I basically my own children that they must DO something if they were ever witness to something of this nature, whether physical or verbal.

I believe the man I mentioned above is only alive because his friend realized what was happening to him and covered the man's body with his own. Such an act of self-sacrifice and love! We should all be so brave… but so many are not. Am I that kind of brave? I honestly don't know. I've told people to stop gossiping to me, but mostly I just change the subject.

Gossip is verbal bullying behind the victim's back… so that's why I mention it. So, what have I done, then… waited a few minutes while watching the attack and then redirecting the attackers attentions elsewhere. #sigh#

Have you stood up for someone? I would like to hear about physical and verbal interventions. What did you do? Would you do something different next time?

my thoughts: contentment versus complacency

So, I've been working through this for some time now. I have at least one pretty big issue with Paul, so reading his words from when he wrote/taught the Philippians about contentment was a little difficult. I understand the words and see their validity, but because it was Paul… I'm not sure I can adequately explain my issue.

Anyway… I've felt confused about the difference between contentment and complacency for a while. Mostly because we are told to be content, but NOT complacent. The first definition found via google for each are as follows:

contentment – a state of happiness and satisfaction

complacent – showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements

While those are the given definitions, my understanding of the two words has been more like:

contentment – accepting what is without motivation to pursue more

complacency – ignorance of need for improvement or exceeding laziness of character which stagnates an individual where they are such that they do not move forward or changeable

Based on common usage, I think the actual definition of complacency is very much a combination of my understanding and the definition cited. However, I think the second part of my definition for complacency is the more accurate one based on usage I've heard and read.

So, given all that, I can completely understand how and why we would be advised against complacency. While, especially in the way Paul uses it, I really even still have a tough time with contentment. I do believe we should choose to be happy in whatsoever circumstances we find ourselves. However, if we do so, how do we feel motivated to improve our circumstances? I'm still troubling over this, in fact. I guess if I come to a point where I understand it fully, I'll share what I come up with. Until then, tell me what YOU think! I seriously would love some help with this and reading your perspective could be just what I need! Thank you in advance if you take some time to help me figure this out!

my thoughts: TRUMP

Dear President Trump,

I didn't vote for you. I was worried, you see, about the little I do know and the great deal I've heard and felt that if you could do any good for the country it would be minimal. And I wasn't really sure of your motivations. Let your displeasure at this revelation, for I know it will be great, be soothed by the fact that neither did I vote for your “primary” competition: Mrs. C.

Writing now, in this open letter is in hopes that this message may somehow make it to your eyes. My Mom has said many times that if one person gives you a compliment, at least ten other people thought it and didn't take the time or have the courage to tell you themselves. I love to give compliments and have felt compelled to give you this one for a little while now.

First, your refusal of remuneration for the work you will do in the office of President is commendable and honorable. I have been highly pleased and impressed by this action on your part. I esteem you, sir, for making this choice and in so doing you planted a sweet seed of hope in my heart. And not just hope in you, which is wonderful in itself, but also hope in the political system. I despise politicians. Our country was ever meant to be lead by statesmen. In refusing pay in your role as President, I believe you have shown your desire to be a true statesman. What pleasure I feel in the hope that this is your motivation! Thank you… thank you for that seed of hope!

And then your actions… you have surely done far more than I have heard. For, you see, I live a simply life in the country. No television. Little internet (only what I can get on my mobile phone when the signal is good and it is often NOT). No radio. So, basically, I don't hear all that much. Yet, I have heard good things.

A man who was set against you… a member of the black power establishment (not panthers or anything like that, as far as I know… just one of the big wigs who seem more interested in divisiveness under the guise of civil rights) visited you and came away from that visit touting your acclaim. This was impressive, for sure. It is my opinion that seeking to communicate directly and clearly will often lead to such changes. You have proved it with, at least, him and I am so very pleased!

The business deal in which you directly asked a company to build their new location within the states. They agreed. As a result you brought a significant number of jobs to the US. BEFORE you were in office. Simply by directly speaking to someone who could make such a decision and posing the question. I'm sure I've oversimplified drastically. There may be bits involved in the deal that many will be displeased about, but I guarantee those who will be gainfully employed will not be among them.

Given what I know, I have great hopes that your interactions with Putin are positive and bend on healing our alliance with his country. Your predecessor did so much harm to so many long-standing relationships. I have great hope that you will move us back into a more peaceful situation with them, others, and especially Israel.

I turned 41 in December. I've voted a few times. I've watched the actions of your predecessors with chagrin and sometimes despair. Never before you have I felt hope in praying for The President. I pray for you frequently. I pray that you will choose Godly advisers and be surrounded by statesmen and stateswomen!

Your immediate predecessor gave much lip service to hope and change. Much of the change he wrought was probably his intent, but never the wish of those I know! I felt my hope in his work disappear long before his time was extended. You have said nothing about hope and change… yet I have felt hope spring forth from the seeds planted by your actions, which indicate efforts to bring the kind of change that may well heal this nation of harm, perhaps especially debt accrued by those who came before.

President Trump, I hope you will continue to do as you have thus far done of the good I have named and heard. I believe you may be guided by our Father in Heaven and as you seek to do what is best for these United States, may you feel of His guidance and know the right path to bring our Nation to healthier and more fiscally sound days. I'm praying for you, Mr. President!

Sincerely,

Tori Gollihugh

my thoughts: my man-crush

The month of LOVE... you know with V-day and all.  To celebrate the month of love, I decided to write about my man-crush.

He's hot.  And not just physically.  I'll tell you about that in a minute.  Right now, you get to read  about what is most attractive to me about him.

My man-crush is genuinely a really good guy most of the time.  He works hard and is a genius, talented, and super skilled.  You know, because talents are things one doesn't really have to work hard to do or learn and skills are things we learn to do with greater effort.

His brains are, as with most guys really, the sexiest thing he's got going for him because he can turn a phrase and flip a girl's heart when he wants to so do.  And his voice is the kind that you can listen to forever.  Even if what he's saying is total bunk, his voice is easy on the ears.

He is a great Father and willing to allow God to plan his family.  Doesn't that just make your heart flip-flop?  I mean, how many guys out there are willing to put that much trust in God?  My man-crush only wanted two children before he got married.  He now has six.  That's some huge trust in God right there.  How totally attractive is that?  I don't know about you, but it's hot to me!

Whoever said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach was being overly one-sided, in my opinion.  My man-crush is an amazing Chef and one of the things that keeps him at the tippy top of my *hot guys* list.  Even more awesome, i get to eat his work sometimes.

If you've guessed by now that my man-crush is my husband, then you're right.  Now, i'm going to tell you something else.  This might surprise you a little... right now... lately... i don't really like my husband very much.  He did something seriously unacceptable recently and i haven't been able to entirely let it go.  So, i don't like him much right now.

But i can reflect and see that he really is a good guy most of the time.  And i would rather have more children with him than any other guy i've known.  And he really is an amazing Chef.  Oh, and i almost forgot to tell you about his phyaical hotness.  So, i really did plan to try, but as i think about it and trying to explain his physical appeal, all i can think is "i just have to include a picture of him in blue jeans wearing his cowboy hat."  So, that's what i'll do.  You can see for yourself.  If you don't see his hotness, i'll share with you how i see him.  You've got to let me know, though, if you can't see it plain for yourself, now.

my thoughts: on addictions

When I was a young whipper snapper, I thought addiction meant that someone used an illicit drug and couldn't control themselves. I may not have even known what illicit meant, but that's the gist of what I believed.

I have learned how wrong I was. Given what I've learned thus far, I imagine that I have yet more to learn that will undo at least some of what I believe I know now. But I don't know what I'll yet learn, all I can share is what I think now.

Basically, I've learned that addiction can take the form of almost anything. It can be a substance one imbibes or consumes. It can be an activity. It can be a thought pattern.

I have more thoughts to share on this subject, but I want to know what you think, too. What is addiction to you?

my thoughts: on gossip

Have you ever been the focus of gossip? How did you find out? How did it feel?

Boy, I sure have. In various forms, I've experience this unkindness. By presenting it as an unkindness, I reveal, at least a little, how it feels to me.

And why? Why do folks gossip about me? Because I think differently about some things than some people? Because I look different? Because I do things differently? Yes, apparently, to each of those.

I'm a fat chick. Thankfully it's pretty proportional fatness. So, I pretty much just look like a larger-sized lady than many. So what have folks had to

I don't think I'm all that unusual or interesting, but apparently others do. I've realized the fact that others gossip about me in various ways. Sometimes, and most directly, when someone makes a comment that reveals they have been speaking with others about me. I'm pretty sure they don't even realize they are telling on themselves.

At other times, and perhaps most often, someone else tells me what others were saying about me. The times this has happened, the person who tells me also usually shares how they defended me and how they got out of that conversation. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. It sure feels like a bad thing to hear the unkindnesses spoken about me when I am unable to explain or help them understand. And most often, they are saying things that reveal they have simply not understood or misconstrued something I've said or done. But maybe it's good to feel bad for a moment because I have definitely and immediately ended any more than the most basic social interaction with those I realize have the habit of gossip.

I have been told I think differently than many. I don't usually perceive it. But if you hear the same thing frequently and long enough, it does seem to have some validity.

As for how we do things… well, when we learn more and assimilate that knew knowledge into our life, we make changes in how we do things to accommodate the new understanding. At least, that's what we're supposed to do. And that's what I do. The way we do everything we do is because we're striving to live in accordance with the understanding we have gained.

I have been through numerous paradigm shifts. And even still must live with a great deal of cognitive dissonance because I'm not in a position to DO what I know and want to do. But we do what we can as we're able. Doesn't everyone? Well, based on how often folks gossip about me in this way, I guess maybe not.

my thoughts: on children

It seems wildly apparent to me that our culture is really not pro-children. Being anti-child isn't the “it” way to be as yet generally, but we definitely seem to be headed that way. Although I use we, I use it loosely to reference our culture. As in so many ways, in this I also tend to have a counter-cultural mindset.

The most upsetting experiences I have had with the not completely anti, but also unfriendly-to-children cultural atmosphere is in the church. While I am a member of a particular church and I definitely do include them, I'm speaking of the church in broader terms. I have found a few exceptional groups, but overall, I've found that even Christians are unfriendly to children as a rule. Not just in the edifices of the church, either.

I believe children are the future. Isn't there a song that says that? Maybe Michael Jackson sang it or was a part of it? Anyway, as the future, they are really what all of this… they are the point of all our efforts. Unless, of course, you agree with the person who told me about the only three things that motivate people (for the record, I still disagree with those three). ←LINK to first post about MOTIVATION

As a result of my disagreement with those (LINK TO MY THOUGHTS ABOUT) motivations, and perhaps because I believe love is actually the number one motivator, I believe most folks inherently know that children are the reason for all of it. Most folks know that children are the actual why behind and within just about everything we do.

So, why do we have the cultural disregard and devaluing of children? I don't actually know the many-faceted answer to this. I think it's got so many sides that it connects to most everything that is touted to have value of the world. However, ultimately, and like the overall picture of the Mandelbrot Set, I think it's because evil has led us to believe that other things are more important than including children, or valuing children, or having children.

I have been long working to teach my children to serve. Sometimes I think my efforts are working. Other times… well, they are children. There have been some wonderful service opportunities organized by my church in various places and by various people. Apparently these folks have talked about me (gossip?) and made sure to include in the announcement about the service projects that only certain age children were welcome. Well, because of the circumstances of my life, if any of my children are excluded, the whole family won't make it. This is just one repeating example of the unfriendliness to children I reference.

Another manifestation is the cruel words I've heard on more than one occasion about my family size. One guy was even so direct as to use tone of voice and words to tell me I was crazy. Most folks use neutral words combined with derogatory tone to communicate the same. The only reason anyone would do this is if they have fallen prey to the predominant culture of child-devaluation.

Do you see what I've described in our culture?

my thoughts: on the difference between knowing and learning

Knowing is having the facts.  Being aware of truth.  Acknowledging steps necessary to accomplish something.

Learning is applying facts, truth, and steps.

Knowing is cerebral.  Learning is practical.

The former is easy.  The latter, much more difficult.  Application is far more invasive and consuming than holding information in one's synapses.

The two are worlds apart.  Yet some would use them interchangeably.  No!  We must know before we can fully learn, it's true.  But just because we know something, doesn't mean we've actually learned it!

I'm a great example of this!  I can tell folks how to do any number of things I haven't yet mastered application of.  This is, perhaps, a YUCK of being a teacher personality.  Seeing clearly HOW to do something comes far more easily than making myself consistently DO it. 

Thus... I'm a fluffy girl who knows TONS about the process of weight loss!  And that's just one example of a chasm between knowing and learning in me.  I've got lots more, unfortunately.

How about you?  Can you think of any instances of something you know, but haven't fully learned yet?

my thoughts: group mind

There have been experiments performed that show the power of groups working together to be of one mind. Most of them revolving around meditation groups. I imagine that the same of very similar results may well be attained during times when religious organizations have special meetings for their members, though I am not aware of any studies to prove such.

At least a couple instances show that group meditation has decreased a certain type of crime rate in large cities. How is that even possible? Well, I think it makes perfect sense because like attracts like, right? Lots of people focused on good thoughts and positivity will bring the same. Light attracts light. Light dispels darkness.

I have felt the result of group mind most frequent experience of it has been during General Conference which is a twice yearly meeting of the members of the church to which I belong. On a personal level, it feels like a sort of “shot” of goodness, love, and upliftment. (Yes, I know that last isn't a real word. I like to make up words… and you can tell what it means, right?)

This concept is really valuable and powerful. And I've known about it for a good many years. It has taken me a few years to work through thoughts and feelings about celebrating Christmas on December 25th. Now, as I reflect, I wonder why I didn't see and understand the connection between group mind and Christmas.

My greatest desire has been to honor our Savior in the best way possible. For a few years I have been greatly concerned about the date and mode of celebrating Him in our day. I still have a number of issues with the societal norms and am working to mitigate them within my family. However, among my great concerns was that of date and is no longer a concern at all.

You see, I was worried about the way the date for the celebration was chosen as a result of research, pondering, and prayer. I still do not prefer the date, but accept it because as Christians we can act as light bringers to an otherwise potentially not so bright day. Because we choose how we celebrate the birth of our Savior, we can also stand against the tide of the way the world would distort this very special celebration.

my thoughts: on seasons in life

The circle of life... sorta.  I mean, the seasons are like circles.  The seasons of life are rather similar to the seasons of weather on our planet.  Although, at least for me, the seasons of life seem a bit more erratic.  But, then again, folks everywhere are talking about how the weather is out of kilter for their area.  So, maybe my personal seasons are a lot more like the weather seasons than I thought before sitting down to write.

Regardless of that, I've come to a deeper realization I want to share with you.  It's this: for me, chaos is an integral part of spiraling up my mountain, as it were.  The mountain being life... improvement... growth.  You know, the big stuff.

It makes perfect sense, of course, since darkness is likened to chaos and it has it's assigned part of the day.  So, too, then it makes perfect sense that chaos must have it's time in my personal/mental/emotional life, too.

Lately, I've been thinking that my time in chaos usually comes after my babies are born.  Usually it seems to start around the time they are three months old and lasts different lengths of time with each babe.  I'm pretty sure the differences are, at least, partially due to nutrition and sleep.  Unfortunately, this time of chaos includes varying degrees of insomnia.

Thankfully, chaos passes.  Like in labor, when I don't fight the times of contracting/chaos, this time is far less painful.

As with goals in THIS TEDx talk, focusing on the rough stuff makes it far too easy to feel every bit of roughness.  Strange, since Reggie Rivers is explaining why focusing on goals causes us to NOT accomplish them.  Instead we should focus on behaviors.  That's true for getting through the seasons of chaos, too.

In my life, as I focus on my behavior, rather than the rough stuff, I'm able to feel more control and authority, rather than less.  Yeay for that!

my thoughts: on motivation revealed

So, last time I really only shared what someone else thought about motivation.  I thought I would do it differently, but when I was typing it up, I felt like I should just share what someone else said and ask if you agree.  Many thanks to those who replied.  I appreciate your time and thoughts very much!

As for me, I believe that the three motivations shared in the last installment of my thoughts is really pessimistic and not really accurate, anyway.  Perhaps I'm overly optimistic.  I just believe that if I had to limit folks' motivation to three it would be: love, security, and legacy.  Probably in that order, too.

What to you think of my three?  Am I overly optimistic?

my thoughts:motivation

So, it's still pretty recent, but not in the last week that someone told me there are only three things that motivate people.  This person said those three things are: money, pride, and fear.

I do, of course, have my own thoughts about this subject, but I want to hear what you think before I share what I think.

Do YOU think this person is correct?  If not, and you are limited to three things that motivate people, what would you say are the three primary things that motivate people?