my thoughts: on gossip

Have you ever been the focus of gossip? How did you find out? How did it feel?

Boy, I sure have. In various forms, I've experience this unkindness. By presenting it as an unkindness, I reveal, at least a little, how it feels to me.

And why? Why do folks gossip about me? Because I think differently about some things than some people? Because I look different? Because I do things differently? Yes, apparently, to each of those.

I'm a fat chick. Thankfully it's pretty proportional fatness. So, I pretty much just look like a larger-sized lady than many. So what have folks had to

I don't think I'm all that unusual or interesting, but apparently others do. I've realized the fact that others gossip about me in various ways. Sometimes, and most directly, when someone makes a comment that reveals they have been speaking with others about me. I'm pretty sure they don't even realize they are telling on themselves.

At other times, and perhaps most often, someone else tells me what others were saying about me. The times this has happened, the person who tells me also usually shares how they defended me and how they got out of that conversation. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. It sure feels like a bad thing to hear the unkindnesses spoken about me when I am unable to explain or help them understand. And most often, they are saying things that reveal they have simply not understood or misconstrued something I've said or done. But maybe it's good to feel bad for a moment because I have definitely and immediately ended any more than the most basic social interaction with those I realize have the habit of gossip.

I have been told I think differently than many. I don't usually perceive it. But if you hear the same thing frequently and long enough, it does seem to have some validity.

As for how we do things… well, when we learn more and assimilate that knew knowledge into our life, we make changes in how we do things to accommodate the new understanding. At least, that's what we're supposed to do. And that's what I do. The way we do everything we do is because we're striving to live in accordance with the understanding we have gained.

I have been through numerous paradigm shifts. And even still must live with a great deal of cognitive dissonance because I'm not in a position to DO what I know and want to do. But we do what we can as we're able. Doesn't everyone? Well, based on how often folks gossip about me in this way, I guess maybe not.