Working for me is
like ripping a fabric and having thread hanging out reaching for each
other. My attention must necessarily be on my children since they
are my first responsibility. Writing is very difficult for me as a
result because I am frequently pulled out of the world of my thoughts
and the train continues on without me. Sometimes I'm able to catch
it and continue the ride. At others, I sit with my head in my hands
wondering why I'm doing this at all.
I actually know. I
just wish I didn't feel as if I had to do it. I resent the
circumstances that have put me in a corner which is why I'm
doing what I'm doing so vigorously and constantly. I resent broken
agreements. If they were just re-made, that would be one thing.
Refocusing…
The computer having
a fully charged battery enables me to write either blog posts or
continue with one of my stories. If the computer is not an option, I
have written notes for blog posts on paper. They rarely end up much
like the notes, but at least I have many thoughts already recorded.
A good starting place, in essence.
Usually, if the
computer is unavailable, I'll work on Cap'N Golly plans and rhymes.
His rhymes take a bit of time, doncha know! I also write silly songs
and more serious songs on paper rather than the computer. So, if I
find myself unable to use the computer and have a song started, but
not finished, I might work on that.
If I have Cap'N or
other video to edit AND any power in the battery of the computer, I
have been known to work on that instead of writing. That's because
video editing is still a rather time consuming process for me and I
have self-made deadlines in mind. I really like to attain small
goals. When I do, it makes big ones feel more likely to happen!
Working without
breaks (of the chosen or unwanted kind) lasts, at most, thirty
minutes. If it lasts longer than that, either I'm ignoring wrong
choices among my children, or they are too quiet. Moms… you know
what I mean!
GrA still needs to
nurse pretty frequently, so every forty-five minutes or so, I stop to
spend some time with him. Sometimes I'm able to nurse and type.
That worked out better when he was smaller. As he gets older and
typing while nursing isn't quite so workable, I tend to read while I
nurse. Usually I read books planning to review them on my blog.
Of course, there are
also breaks for food (direction and or preparation). And I do need
to sleep sometimes, so there's that.
There are town days
that I need for internet connectivity. I'll share about that next
time.
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